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June 20, 2007

We Must Fight Climate Change

An ice age is about to settle upon our fair planet.  I, for one, vow to fight this with the only weapon I have at my disposal:  My 2002 Chevy Tahoe.  I will pump vast quantities of CO2 into the atmosphere by  driving everywhere, even if my destination is only a block away.  I will consume a massive volume of gasoline as I speed at 85 miles per hour or more down the freeways of Kalifornica.  I will let my Detroit-born behemoth idle needlessly outside the Happy Endings Massage Parlor for hours on end.  I will mount my mighty American stead to run down greasy, dirty hippies in order to release their stores of methane as their patchouli-reeking corpses decompose. All these things I vow to do for the planet and for civilization as we know it.

Posted by: Dick at 10:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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