I have decided to face reality and admit that I do not have the technical expertise to make this place what I want it to be.  It's too much effort for me right now.  I'll keep it as a backup.  If you want to find me, stop by my other Dick blog.

Posted by: Dick at 08:51 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I am going to do something I swore I never would. 

Like the moron that I am, I have agreed to coach my 4 year old daughter's soccer team.  I hate soccer.  I quit playing that stupid euro "sport" in 2nd grade. 

I've only tolerated my 8 year old's soccer activities because he's aggressive on the field and throws a good shoulder while going after the ball.  I've took some level of pride in the fact that some wussy teams have complained during games.  He doesn't play dirty, he's just tough and won't let an opponent get a free shot at the ball. 

As far as my daughter, she's not one to back down.  Full of piss and vinegar when she wants to be.  She'll be the youngest on the team and only one of four girls.  She's very competitive and accustomed to playing with her older, bigger, and stronger brother. 

I'm not a win at all costs kind of guy, especially at this age level.  However, I want the kids to take pride in their level of effort.  Win or lose, I want them to give it their best.  If they're out on the field picking daisies, I will probably be pulling my hair out or shredding my vocal chords on the sidelines. 

 As far as coaching a team of rugrats, I don't really know what the hell I'm doing.  Are 40 yard wind sprints appropriate for four to six year-olds?  My sadistic side may get the best of me. 

Posted by: Dick at 10:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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This week I have been trying and failing everytime to upload a custom header into this here blog.  It's obvious I am doing it wrong. 

I am sure this is a fairly simple thing to do.  I am a retard, so I can't figure it out.  I guess I'll need to ask for help.  I hate doing that.

UPDATE: Eh, kinda ugly.  Don't know if I'll keep it.  Maybe I'll try some others.

Posted by: Dick at 06:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Yon.  Now.

Posted by: Dick at 06:13 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I figure I should do this just in case someone cares.  Over the past several years, I have had various blogs. Most have been relegated to the Isle of Deleted Blogs.  With each blog, I created a different pseudonym.  So, here's a few that are probably lingering around a few sites' comment sections:

richj at aggressivetendencies.blogsome.com;

Mr.Johnson or Haz at blackdrum.wordpress.com; and

Chard and Crocodile Dick right here early on at this site chard.mee.nu.

Some may say these are sockpuppets, but I've never claimed to be someone I am not. They are derived from my real name or occupation.  They have all linked back to real sites and email addresses.  Here on this site, I will go by Dick.  At sites where I have been a somewhat regular commentor, like RL, I will maintain the name richj for consistency's sake. 

Ok, back to the nonsense. Suck it. 

Posted by: Dick at 03:25 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Sticky until 7/5.

Posted by: Dick at 12:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I just noticed something.  Last night I was fuckin around with my CSS, and lo and behold, I changed the background color to blue.  My changes didn't seem to do a damn thang last nite.  Now I know my CSS editing actually worked.  I think I just came a little.

Yes, I am a retard, so simple things excite me.

Posted by: Dick at 04:13 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I don't do much of it.  Atleast not on other peoples' blogs.  I know it's a good way to get traffic to my blog, but I just don't put much of an effort into it.  The time I spend reading other blogs is usually while I am at work which is not very conducive to commenting.  Constant interruptions from my co-wankers peering over my shoulder while I sit in my dark, dungeon-like cubicle, blocked comment sites at some of my favorite blogs, and a healthy disinterest in what other morons have to say all contribute to my lack of commenting.  By the time I get home, take care of family obligations, and turn on my POS laptop running Windows 98, my enthusiasm for commenting on someone's stale thread from earlier in the day has sufficiently abated to the point of profound apathy.  I usually end of surfing for boobies war pr0n.

No wonder I don't get shit for traffic here.  Or it could be the lack of interesting posts, and abysmal site asthetics.  Whatever. 

UPDATE:  Eventhough I may not reciprocate, please comment here.  This site is all about me, so lavish me with your praise. 

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:  Oh, stop.  All these glowing comments are embarrassing me. 

Posted by: Dick at 03:43 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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The Immigration Abomination Bill is dead. There is now talk of delaying any further action of immigration reform until after the 2008 election.  Screw that!  Sessions and company need to strike while the iron is hot.  Draft and introduce a bill that actually does what needs to be done now. Secure the damn borders and reinforce the freakin' laws already on the books.  Demand action not lip service. Restore some level of confidence in the gummint.

Image shamelessly stolen from Ace who probably stole it from someone else.

Posted by: Dick at 10:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Cranky over at 6MB has a plan.  I may become a part of that plan.  Follow the link in the comments. This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

Posted by: Dick at 11:30 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Slublog has an idea over at Ace's.  It sounds dirty to me, but I like it. I would have left a comment over there, but the comments are blocked as pr0n by my prudish corporate overlords. Bastards.  I think some tea bagging is in order for the folks at corporate hq.

Posted by: Dick at 11:53 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Let's call this thing A Dick in NorCal.  Says it all I think.  Since my name is Dick, short for Richard, and I live in Northern  California.  Short and simple, just like my women.

Posted by: Dick at 04:11 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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How can I entice well known camelids to leave some droppings in the comments or put me on their blogroll when they stop by off their sitemeter logs?  I think I'll pick up some alfalfa and spread it around a bit.  That should do the trick.  Either that or post some hot llama pr0n.

Posted by: Dick at 10:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I am a shitty blogger.  Don't expect much, and you won't be disappointed.

UPDATE:  Maybe a good name for this blog would be "Shitty Dick".  On second thought, maybe not.

Posted by: Dick at 10:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I've been having a hard time coming up with a name for this here blog.  I've already changed it a few times.  The current name, Crocodile Dick, is an old nickname given to me by a some chick years ago.  It has nothing to do with anatomy, and just a smidgen to do with Australia.  I am not Australian nor have I ever been to that fine allied nation.  The story behind the name is really just too stupid to get into in depth here. You just had to be there. Anyway, the name may continue to evolve to whatever suits my fancy.  I have no plan nor purpose in mind for this blog.  It's just an manefestation of my ADD.  Randomness will ensue.

Posted by: Dick at 10:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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On a whim, I took a look at the write-up of that recent Zogby Interactive Poll on the Immigration Abomination bill (ht Misha).  At the very bottom of the article, something caught my eye:

Despite the public's negative views of illegal immigrants, Americans do not overwhelmingly embrace deportation as a solution. While it is the single most popular means of dealing with the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants currently in the country, just 37% back outright deportation as a solution, while another 11% favor deporting illegal immigrants if they commit any crimes. Slightly more than one in four respondents, meanwhile, believe they should be allowed to stay if they have jobs and pass background checks. (emphasis mine)

Hmm.  So, does that 37% jump up to 48% since, you know, the illegals committed a crime by entering the country illegaly?  Dumbasses.

Sometimes I just want to scream and break things.

Posted by: Dick at 01:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Thank you to Blackfive for pointing me to the Marines of RCT-6.  Send an email of support to RCT-6lettersfromh@gcemnf-wiraq.usmc.mil.  Here's the text of my email:

There are no words that adequately convey my deep appreciation for what the Marines, Soldiers, Airmen, and Sailors are doing for our Country in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere.  A "Support the Troops" sticker or the words "thank you" don't cut it. I am amazed and envious of your love of country, courage and strength of character while carrying out your duties on our behalf.  While it may not seem like it at times, a large majority of your fellow Americans have great confidence in you and a desire for victory.  Regardless what the politicians in D.C. or the press may say, we believe in you.

 

My family and I pray for the souls of the lost, your safe return home, and for continued successes, both large and small.

 

Godspeed,

Posted by: Dick at 10:18 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The skeletons have been declassified.  Very interesting. 

Posted by: Dick at 07:45 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Yon:

Big fights are ahead and we will take serious losses probably, but al Qaeda, unless they find a way to escape, are about to be slaughtered. Nobody is dropping leaflets asking them to surrender. Our guys want to kill them, and that’s the plan.

Posted by: Dick at 06:09 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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An ice age is about to settle upon our fair planet.  I, for one, vow to fight this with the only weapon I have at my disposal:  My 2002 Chevy Tahoe.  I will pump vast quantities of CO2 into the atmosphere by  driving everywhere, even if my destination is only a block away.  I will consume a massive volume of gasoline as I speed at 85 miles per hour or more down the freeways of Kalifornica.  I will let my Detroit-born behemoth idle needlessly outside the Happy Endings Massage Parlor for hours on end.  I will mount my mighty American stead to run down greasy, dirty hippies in order to release their stores of methane as their patchouli-reeking corpses decompose. All these things I vow to do for the planet and for civilization as we know it.

Posted by: Dick at 10:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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